Who to vote for in the upcoming election

This article is written in particular reference to the upcoming Referendum taking place on February 8th to 11th 2019. Does it doesn’t really matter? All uOttawa elections are pretty similar. With that in mind, here is the timeless guide of who to vote for in any upcoming uOttawa election.

  

U Dog Ottawa

dogs resized.png

The UDO are an ambitious group with some bold new ideas for the uOttawa Campus. This newly founded unions consists of a diverse group of dogs. They promise to bring more dog services including doggy bag lunches and scattered dog beds.

Another improvement they plan is to uproot the useless space of the concrete plaza and to create an actual green space to be used as a dog park. They predict student life will improve by 300% and depression will be cured.

However when asked about how exactly they would spend their budget, the president simply replied with “woof”.

 

Steve

steve.png

Steve is an ambitious person who has no team. He’s simply soloing his union. We thought this wasn’t possible, but apparently there’s no rule against it. I guess that’s a loophole. Also Steve doesn’t go to uOttawa, he goes to Carleton. Also not specified in the rules. Another loophole. In fact he has no qualifications. Though he is bilingual so he’s allowed to compete.

 

The uOttawa Government

goverment resized.png

This group seems pretty legit. Actually they are a completely legit group of politicians from various provincial governments. This union is run by a group of 45 year old adults that are taking classes at uOttawa because they have too much money with their midlife crisis. Maybe that’s what uOttawa needs. A group of mature adults that are serious about their job. Not kids the age of me managing an insane budget. Then again, age doesn’t change a person’s greed. And no one can resist that much money. 

 

The Future Thinkers of uOttawa

Question-Marks_720x370 resized.jpg

I mean I think this is a union. They don’t have a website, and I’ve actually never heard of them before. But lo and behold they’re on the list of contestants. Well their name is alright… that’s all I’ve got to go by. Isn’t that enough?

 

SFUO

sfuo resized.jpg

I didn’t have time to research this group. Sorry no info on them.

 

 

Well that’s all the unions. Remember your vote matters. Especially since so few actually participate in any uOttawa elections so if you vote, you’re probably the only one. So yes, your vote really does matter.

And whoever wins the election will… actually I don’t know what this election is for. Or is it a referendum? There’s no information anywhere. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.